AI – The Hollow Masquerade: A Portrait of Folly Behind the Façade

Author’s Note:
Attempting to generate an image for this satirical play using AI was a soul-sapping exercise in futility. At one point, I was one error message away from launching my laptop out the window like a rock star in a midlife crisis.

If this had been the 1970s, I’d have hurled the hotel TV into the car park and lit a cigarette over the smouldering remains.

Enter NotebookLM from Google—like a calm librarian walking into a bar fight. It actually made sense. Do yourself a favour: give it a listen before reading on.

In a faded council chamber, Stan Laurel and Ollie Hardy debate whether to conduct a local or national inquiry amid public pressure and political delays. Laurel emphasizes the need for accountability, while Hardy evades responsibility, fearing voter backlash. Their discussion reveals government inefficiency and avoidance of truth.

INT. A FADED COUNCIL CHAMBER — SOMEWHERE BETWEEN WESTMINSTER AND NOWHERE

(Stan Laurel is flicking through a thick stack of enquiry reports. Ollie Hardy is adjusting his mayoral chain, which is obviously too small and keeps getting stuck in his double chin.)


HARDY:
Stanley, this is a serious matter. The people are demanding answers. So we must decide: Do we want a local inquiry… or a national inquiry?

LAUREL:
Well… why don’t we have a national local inquiry? That way it only applies in some places but makes everyone feel involved!

HARDY (huffing):
You can’t have a national local inquiry! That’s like ordering a medium large coffee!

LAUREL:
But Ollie, last week we said we wanted a national one. Then the week before that, we said we didn’t. Then we did. Then we didn’t. Then we sort of did, but only if nobody asked too many questions…

HARDY:
That’s called government policy, Stanley.

LAUREL (scratching his head):
I thought it was called panic.


HARDY (stepping forward, speaking as if to a public gallery):
We are faced with a delicate issue — one that could cost votes, credibility, and the last wafer-thin biscuit of public trust. Therefore, we shall respond with… a Taskforce! A working group! An inter-departmental roundtable! With refreshments!

LAUREL:
But what about the girls, Ollie?

HARDY (pausing):
What girls?

LAUREL:
The ones they’re supposed to be asking about. The ones who got hurt.

HARDY:
Oh, those girls. Yes, yes. Well, we’ve drafted a Statement of Concern and a Provisional Framework for a Potential Expression of Regret. Pending further votes.


LAUREL (innocently):
You mean you’re not going to find out who did it?

HARDY:
Stanley, don’t be ridiculous! If we found out who did it, we might have to say something. Then somebody might get offended — and then what? We lose the whole constituency!

LAUREL (genuinely confused):
But I thought we were in charge.

HARDY:
Oh no, Stanley. We’re not in charge. We just act like it until the next election.


(Laurel produces a map of Britain with red Xs all over it.)

LAUREL:
I counted. There’ve been eight of these cases that we didn’t really look into.

HARDY (snatching the map):
That’s not a map! That’s a career suicide note! Take it away!

LAUREL:
But what if the voters start noticing?

HARDY:
We’ll tell them it’s local police responsibility. Or historic. Or complicated. Or “currently under review pending further scoping assessments”.


LAUREL:
That’s a lot of words for doing nothing.

HARDY (exasperated):
Stanley, doing nothing is a time-honoured British tradition! If we did something, there’d be… consequences!

LAUREL (thinking):
Like justice?

HARDY:
Don’t say that word in here!


(Laurel picks up a newspaper with the headline: “Enquiry Postponed Again” and sighs.)

LAUREL:
You know Ollie, if this keeps up, they won’t vote for Labour or anyone else. They’ll just stay home.

HARDY:
Exactly! And then nobody loses! Democracy at its finest!


(Beat. Laurel starts sobbing.)

LAUREL:
But I don’t want to be part of a country that can’t tell the truth because it might lose a seat in Bradford.

HARDY (quietly):
Neither do I, Stanley… But we’ve got a press release going out that says we’re deeply committed to transparency, so chin up, eh?


(As they leave, Laurel turns back and pins a single sign to the wall. It reads: “DO THE RIGHT THING.”)

HARDY (scoffing):
Now you’ve done it. Someone will definitely be offended.

LAUREL (smiling faintly):
I hope so.


[FADE OUT to sound of filing cabinet drawers being slammed, one after the other, into the same unopened enquiry folder.]


Healing Through Dialogue: End the Conflict

In fields where bullets meet the cries,
Where broken skies shield weary eyes,
Two sides have turned their tongues to dust,
And left behind the bonds of trust.

Leaders play their age-old game,
Trading peace for fleeting fame.
As war’s cold fingers, cruel and thin,
Entangle hopes and hemmed-in kin.

In homes where empty chairs await,
The echoes whisper tales of fate—
Of children lost and love that grieves,
Of letters soaked by tears and leaves.

Scholz spoke words that cut the air,
With courage rare to make them care.
A voice that dared to break the cold,
While others watched as war unfolds.

A “Pandora’s box”—they cried, enraged—
But peace cannot be cheaply gauged.
It takes more than warlike might—
It takes the will to dim the fight.

Zelensky stands, his people torn,
In trenches deep and weary worn.
He fears the talk, the weight of cost,
Each compromise a line that’s crossed.

Yet hearts can tire, the will can fade,
When war and death the earth invade.
The call for talks—be it naive?—
Is still a hope we must believe.

Families broken, homes now gone,
The breath of peace could right the wrong.
So lay aside the guns and pride;
Let courage draw the lines less wide.

For leaders who would feed the flames,
Who shield themselves with shifting claims—
May their tongues be tempered, soft,
May they learn to lift not scoff.

Peace is frail, its strands so thin,
But bold and brave souls can begin.
The war must end—the talk must start—
To heal the world and mend the heart.

The Descent of Liberty

Beneath Westminster’s grey-stained spires,
The wheel of policy grinds our bones into dust,
A bloated beast, with laws spun from wires,
Coiled tight with venomous bureaucratic lust.

Elderly souls count pennies in trembling palms,
Taxed twice to keep the coffers fed.
While cold hands grasp ancestral farms,
Spirits broken, land bloodshed red.

Entrepreneurs pack bags for foreign lands,
Start-ups flee like whispers in a storm.
Treasure Island shackled by fumbling hands,
Burying seeds where hope once warmed.

In hollow chambers, debate becomes a mime,
Soundless screams pass through lifeless lips.
Policy inked in deceitful rhyme,
The ink of betrayal that drips and drips.

“Come for a chat,” the constable grins,
Non-crime etched in trembling files.
Liberty’s skin stretched thin,
Each smile masked with Kafkaesque guile.

Parliament convulses, a clockwork jest,
Where minutes churn and reason drowns.
The monstrous dance of tax and unrest,
A procession of clowns in tattered gowns.

Dark words echo down cobbled streets,
The farmer lost to silence, his land to fate.
A thousand voices in protest beats,
While Orwell’s ghost weeps at the gate.

A government failing, imploding within,
Rote schemes and blind masks lead astray.
Minds enslaved in logic’s grim spin,
As night’s chill devours light’s last ray.

And so, we march, heads bent to the storm,
Through corridors drenched in despair’s stain.
Darkness festers where laws deform,
Till the cycle begins again.

The Risks of Disconnection: When Government Investments Ignore Public Opinion

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When a government prioritises large-scale investments that lack public support, the consequences can be profound, affecting everything from economic stability to the well-being of its citizens. This essay explores the broader implications of a government persisting with controversial projects that a majority of the public disapproves of, even if these initiatives are justified by officials as necessary for long-term national development. In this scenario, we imagine successive governments backing high-cost infrastructure or development schemes that the public sees as misaligned with their needs and priorities. As dissatisfaction grows, the government finds itself with a rising disapproval rating, eventually reaching a critical point where its decisions are perceived as both wasteful and emblematic of cronyism.

Public Trust and the Social Contract

At the heart of any democratic system lies the social contract, an implicit agreement between the government and its people. This contract is predicated on the understanding that elected officials will act in the public’s best interest and be good stewards of taxpayer resources. However, when a government continues to invest in projects that the majority of citizens see as unnecessary or even self-serving, it risks breaking this contract. The public may begin to view such investments as symbolic gestures, designed more to elevate the government’s prestige than to address real societal needs.

The erosion of trust in such cases can be significant. A government that fails to act in line with public sentiment fosters disillusionment among its citizens. People may become disengaged from political processes, believing that their voices no longer matter. This disconnect can lead to a dangerous decline in voter participation and civic involvement, further undermining the democratic system.

Economic Misallocation and its Consequences

A government’s investment choices have a direct impact on the nation’s economic well-being. When public funds are directed toward initiatives that lack popular support, this often represents a misallocation of resources. Imagine a government allocating billions to infrastructure projects designed to showcase technological prowess or national ambition, while basic services such as healthcare, education, and public transport systems languish.

Such misallocation of capital can have immediate and long-term economic consequences. In the short term, taxpayer money is tied up in projects that do not yield tangible benefits for the majority of the population. In the long term, these investments can result in higher taxation to fund ongoing or incomplete projects, leaving less financial flexibility for essential services. As the public witnesses continued spending on initiatives they see as irrelevant, their willingness to contribute to the tax base or engage with public initiatives diminishes, weakening the overall economy.

Moreover, when government projects are perceived as wasteful or corrupt, this reduces consumer and investor confidence. Businesses may hesitate to invest in an economy where public money is being funneled into vanity projects rather than addressing structural issues like productivity, innovation, or public welfare. This hesitancy stifles economic growth and further undermines the nation’s financial health.

Social and Mental Health Implications

Public discontent over government spending has a cascading effect on mental and social well-being. Large-scale, high-cost projects that the public views as unnecessary can contribute to societal alienation and chronic stress. When citizens perceive that their government is ignoring their needs, they can feel disenfranchised, powerless, and isolated from decision-making processes.

This discontent, if widespread, can translate into real health impacts. Chronic stress, fuelled by feelings of neglect and lack of agency, is linked to a range of physical and mental health problems, from anxiety and depression to heart disease. In a society where public investment is seen as serving elite interests rather than the common good, these stress-related health problems could become more prevalent, placing an additional burden on already strained healthcare systems.

Moreover, when governments persist in funding controversial projects at the expense of essential services, this can lead to increased social inequality. Marginalised communities are often the most reliant on public services, and if those services are deprioritised in favour of grandiose projects, these groups suffer disproportionately. This can lead to greater social unrest, further fuelling dissatisfaction and divisions within society.

National Happiness and Social Cohesion

Happiness is not solely a product of material wealth but also of how citizens perceive their place within society and their relationship with their government. When a government embarks on investments that the majority of the public deems unnecessary, it diminishes a collective sense of belonging and fairness. Citizens feel that the government is disconnected from their daily lives and concerns, and this disconnection erodes national well-being.

Research into happiness economics consistently shows that trust in institutions is a key determinant of a nation’s overall sense of happiness and satisfaction. When successive governments make decisions that disregard public opinion, this trust erodes, and with it, the nation’s collective happiness. People become less optimistic about the future, less willing to contribute to societal progress, and less engaged in their communities.

Political Instability and Long-Term Risks

Moreover, when public funds are directed toward controversial projects that do not directly improve citizens’ lives, people begin to perceive their government as inefficient and out of touch. This perception further drives societal fragmentation, as different groups feel they are being unfairly impacted by these decisions, whether through higher taxes, inadequate services, or environmental degradation.

When governments repeatedly ignore public opinion in their investment choices, it leads to political instability. In democratic systems, this often manifests as reactionary voting, where citizens cast their ballots not based on ideological alignment but as a protest against the status quo. This can lead to a rise in populist or fringe political movements that promise radical change, often at the expense of long-term stability and governance quality.

In extreme cases, prolonged public dissatisfaction with government investment decisions can result in large-scale civil unrest or the rise of anti-democratic movements. Citizens who feel that their concerns are systematically ignored may turn to more extreme means of expressing their discontent, from widespread protests to disruptive strikes or even violent demonstrations.

Additionally, the government’s reputation on the global stage may suffer. Other nations and international investors will be wary of engaging with a country where domestic politics are unstable, and the government is perceived as out of touch with its people. This can have lasting consequences for trade, investment, and international relations, further undermining economic prospects and global standing.

Conclusion

When governments pursue investments that the public overwhelmingly disapproves of, they risk far more than the financial cost of the projects themselves. The breakdown of trust between the government and its citizens can lead to widespread social and economic consequences, from political disengagement and economic decline to deteriorating public health and reduced national happiness. For governments to maintain the delicate balance of democratic governance, they must ensure that their investments reflect the needs, values, and aspirations of the majority, rather than indulging in projects that serve only a few or are seen as mere symbols of power. Otherwise, the long-term damage to the nation’s social fabric, political stability, and economic health could be profound and difficult to reverse.

References

The Origins and Consequences of Public Trust in Government: A Time Series Analysis

OECD Public Governance Reviews

Trust in public institutions: Trends and implications for economic security

Why Cronyism Hurts Public Procurement Efficiency

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Government procurement, both at the local and national levels, has long been a source of frustration for many. It has too often become a quagmire of unnecessary complexity. It should act as an efficient vehicle for the provision of essential services. A few large corporations dominate it. They have mastered the art of navigating the intricacies of an outdated system. This chapter explores the roots of this inefficiency. It discusses its consequences for taxpayers. The chapter also highlights the need for reform prioritising transparency, value, and local participation.

The Legacy of Labyrinthine Rules

At the heart of the problem is a procurement process mired in a dense web of regulations. Many of these rules are a lingering remnant of the United Kingdom’s former membership in the European Union. These regulations were designed to guarantee fair competition across the EU’s single market. Instead, they have had the effect of favouring large, multinational corporations with the resources to follow intricate legal requirements. For small and medium-sized enterprises (SMEs), particularly local businesses, the cost of meeting these compliance standards is prohibitive. This effectively bars them from bidding on public contracts.

This imbalance has led to the creation of what some critics have labelled the “Serco State.” In this environment, a small group of preferred bidders enjoys an oligopolistic hold on public service contracts. These large corporations are often seen as the only entities capable of navigating the procurement rules. They regularly secure massive contracts. These contracts they then subcontract to the lowest bidder. The result is a downward spiral in service quality. The cheapest operators, often reliant on foreign labour, take over. This leads to a lack of oversight, accountability, and effective service delivery. Jobs that should be done well are often either poorly executed or, in extreme cases, not completed at all. Over time, this has been corrosive to public services and wasteful for the taxpayer.

Cronyism and Corruption in Public Procurement

The inefficiencies of the current procurement model go beyond mere bureaucratic hurdles. There is a long history of cronyism, corporatism, and outright corruption within government contracting. Companies with the right connections often win bids. This happens rather than those best suited to deliver value. Sometimes this occurs regardless of performance or ability. Publications like Private Eye have often shone a spotlight on these practices. They expose backroom deals and sweetheart contracts that help the few at the expense of the many.

The consolidation of public procurement into the hands of a few dominant players has bred a system. Competition is stifled. Innovation is stymied. Cost-effectiveness is sacrificed. Taxpayers are left footing the bill for contracts that rarely deliver on their promises. Instead of focusing on getting the best value for public money, the procurement process has, in many cases, devolved. It has become a cynical exercise of political favouritism and corporate profiteering.

The WTO Government Procurement Agreement and International Obligations

Another layer of complexity stems from the UK’s obligations under the World Trade Organization’s Government Procurement Agreement (GPA). This agreement is intended to promote open markets and competition across borders. It requires member nations to allow foreign companies to bid on public contracts. While in principle, such openness should foster competition and drive innovation. In practice, it has led to an overreliance on foreign firms. It has also led to outsourcing.

The involvement of overseas bidders has raised concerns about transparency and accountability. This is especially true in sectors like cleaning, maintenance, and basic public services. Contracts awarded to foreign firms often lack the necessary oversight. This leads to substandard outcomes. It also creates a disconnect between local authorities and the communities they serve. Furthermore, the urge to drive down costs often results in the exploitation of cheap labour. This again compromises the quality of services provided to the public.

Inward investment is a positive force. However, the procurement of essential public services should prioritise local needs and taxpayer value. This should take precedence over any international obligation. It is here that the tension between global economic commitments and local service delivery becomes most clear. For too long, government procurement policies have prioritised the former, to the detriment of the latter.

The Case for Localisation and Bringing Services In-House

As the limitations of the current system become increasingly clear, there is a growing argument. This argument is for bringing certain public services back in-house. These limitations have underscored the need for change. This is particularly true for services that are most essential to daily life. Local authorities would directly manage services like cleaning and maintenance. This way, they would keep greater control. They would also guarantee higher standards of service delivery. This shift would allow governments to hold themselves accountable for service quality. They wouldn’t outsource that responsibility to private contractors. These contractors’ primary concern is often profit.

Moreover, by engaging with local SMEs, governments can foster innovation, create jobs, and strengthen local economies. A decentralised approach to procurement would open up opportunities for smaller businesses to compete. It would reduce the stranglehold that large corporations now have on public contracts. Such an approach would also mitigate the risks linked to outsourcing. It ensures that services are delivered by those who have a vested interest in the community.

In rethinking procurement policies, government officials must prioritise transparency, accountability, and value for taxpayers. Contracts should be awarded based on merit, performance, and the ability to deliver quality services. They should not be awarded based on connections or corporate size. Similarly, localisation should be encouraged wherever possible. Understand that local businesses, if properly supported, can often deliver better outcomes at a lower cost than large multinational firms.

Conclusion

The current state of government procurement is a cautionary tale. It shows what happens when complex regulations take precedence over the public good. International obligations and entrenched corporate interests are also allowed to take precedence. The labyrinth of procurement rules has served only to enrich a few at the expense of many. It has also compromised service quality and wasted taxpayer money. Reform is long overdue.

Governments can break free from the wasteful patterns of the past. They can do this by embracing localisation, bringing key services back in-house, and prioritising transparency and competition. Public procurement should serve the interests of the public first. It should ensure that taxpayers get the best value for their money. Services must be delivered efficiently and effectively. The time for change is now, and future policy must show this urgent need.

Building A New Constitution

Introduction

Creating a constitution is a significant undertaking that requires careful planning, consultation, and drafting. The process ensures that the constitution not only establishes fundamental principles and rules governing a state but also reflects the values and rights of its people. Given the gravity of this process, it must be transparent, participatory, and robust enough to stand the test of time. Below is a detailed, multi-year schedule to develop a constitution, with provisions to involve the public, manage relations with the government, and include a judiciary framework.

Phase 1: Pre-consultation and Framework Development (Year 1)

1.1 Establishment of a Constitutional Commission (Months 1-3)

  • Objective: Create an independent and non-partisan body responsible for managing the constitutional process.
  • Tasks:
  • Appoint constitutional law experts, historians, civil society representatives, and political scientists.
  • Ensure that commission members represent various demographic groups, including minority populations.
  • Secure financial and logistical support, ensuring full transparency of funding.
  • Develop clear terms of reference for the commission’s work, including its obligations to consult with the public.

1.2 Baseline Study and Initial Public Engagement (Months 4-6)

  • Objective: Conduct research and assess public expectations from the constitution.
  • Tasks:
  • Perform a study on existing constitutional frameworks globally and domestically.
  • Conduct surveys and public opinion polls to understand the population’s key concerns (e.g., rights, freedoms, balance of powers).
  • Develop an online platform for ongoing public feedback.
  • Arrange town halls and community meetings to educate the public on constitutional issues and the role of a constitution.

1.3 Establishment of Key Principles (Months 7-12)

  • Objective: Create a preliminary list of guiding principles for the constitution.
  • Tasks:
  • The Constitutional Commission works with key legal experts and government officials to draft core principles (e.g., rule of law, separation of powers, human rights, and democracy).
  • Create a public consultation document outlining the key areas the constitution will address, such as:
    • Government Structure (Executive, Legislative, and Judicial branches).
    • Fundamental Rights (Civil liberties, privacy, and economic/social rights).
    • Judicial Independence (Ensuring courts remain independent from governmental influence).
    • National Defence and Foreign Policy.
    • State Accountability Mechanisms.
  • Public Feedback: Publish the key principles and seek feedback through public forums, debates, and media campaigns.

Phase 2: Drafting the Constitution (Year 2)

2.1 Drafting of the First Constitutional Proposal (Months 1-6)

  • Objective: Begin the drafting process based on feedback from Phase 1.
  • Tasks:
  • Divide the constitution into chapters: rights and freedoms, the structure of government, the judiciary, national security, etc.
  • Draft sections on:
    • Legislative Branch: Define the structure, powers, election processes, and terms for parliamentarians.
    • Executive Branch: Limit the powers of the prime minister while ensuring executive accountability.
    • Judiciary: Establish a supreme court or constitutional court, with clear provisions ensuring judicial independence.
    • Citizens’ Rights and Responsibilities: Ensure a robust Bill of Rights that cannot be overridden by government decree.
    • Amendment Process: Define a clear and transparent process for future amendments, requiring both legislative approval and public consent.
  • Conduct stakeholder workshops with civil society organisations, legal bodies, and political representatives.

2.2 National Consultation and Debate (Months 7-12)

  • Objective: Engage the public and stakeholders in a nationwide dialogue.
  • Tasks:
  • Organise televised debates and public meetings to discuss the draft constitution.
  • Provide an accessible version of the draft for general public distribution, including easy-to-understand explanations for each section.
  • Encourage public input through town halls, online platforms, and citizen panels.
  • Incorporate specific focus groups (youth, women, minorities) to ensure wide representation.
  • Referendum Planning: Begin the process of planning a referendum, focusing on:
  • Deciding which controversial or core issues (e.g., religion and state, executive powers) will be put to referendum.
  • Developing clear, unbiased referendum questions to present to the public.

Phase 3: Revision and Referendum Preparation (Year 3)

3.1 Final Drafting of the Constitution (Months 1-6)

  • Objective: Refine and finalise the constitution based on public feedback.
  • Tasks:
  • The Constitutional Commission revises the draft based on the results of the public consultation.
  • Ensure the final draft addresses all constitutional matters, particularly on controversial points raised during consultations (e.g., the balance of powers, individual vs. collective rights).
  • Work closely with the judiciary to ensure legal frameworks are sound and enforceable.
  • Publish the final draft in all national languages, ensuring accessibility to all citizens.

3.2 Final Public Review and Debate (Months 7-9)

  • Objective: Provide one final opportunity for the public to review and debate the proposed constitution.
  • Tasks:
  • Organise a final round of public debates, town hall meetings, and media campaigns to discuss the final draft.
  • Provide the public with detailed comparisons between the current system (if any) and the proposed constitution.

3.3 National Referendum (Months 10-12)

  • Objective: Hold a national referendum to ratify the constitution.
  • Tasks:
  • Hold a referendum on the entire constitution, with the option for the public to vote on key controversial issues separately.
  • Ensure that electoral oversight is independent and credible.
  • Launch extensive voter education campaigns, making sure people understand the referendum’s impact.
  • Results: The constitution is ratified if it receives majority support, and the controversial sections may be separately endorsed or rejected depending on the referendum structure.

Phase 4: Post-referendum Implementation and Constitutional Transition (Year 4)

4.1 Legislative and Judicial Preparation (Months 1-6)

  • Objective: Begin the process of enacting the new constitution.
  • Tasks:
  • Draft transitional laws necessary to align existing legal frameworks with the new constitution.
  • Restructure government institutions, ensuring they comply with the new constitutional rules.
  • Establish mechanisms for judicial review and constitutional interpretation, with training programmes for judges to adapt to new roles (e.g., constitutional court operations).

4.2 Ongoing Monitoring and Amendments (Months 7-12)

  • Objective: Monitor the constitution’s application and ensure its enforcement.
  • Tasks:
  • Set up a review committee within the Constitutional Commission to evaluate the implementation.
  • Ensure civil society has access to constitutional courts and other bodies to challenge unconstitutional government actions.
  • Prepare for a possible early review of the constitution’s functioning after five years to address unforeseen issues or inconsistencies.

Public Involvement Throughout the Process

Throughout each phase, public engagement is key. The population should feel a sense of ownership over the constitution. This is achieved through:

  • Regular town hall meetings, televised debates, and social media engagement.
  • Citizen panels or assemblies where ordinary people can directly contribute to decision-making.
  • Structured educational campaigns on constitutional matters, ensuring that the public is well-informed about the long-term implications of their choices.

Balancing Government, Judiciary, and Public Interests

  • Government: Guarantee that the government has a defined role in drafting and implementing the constitution but cannot dictate its contents unilaterally.
  • Judiciary: Guarantee the judiciary’s independence in interpreting and enforcing the constitution, establishing a clear separation of powers to prevent governmental overreach.
  • The People: Public referendums on key issues and continuous consultation offer democratic legitimacy and guarantee that contentious or controversial aspects of the constitution are decided by the people.