Tag: comedy

“Harold? Harold! Where are you Harold?” screeched the old crone.
“Here dear, at your service,” the gentle old man softly croaked. “To what illustrious duty do you wish to chain me?”
“Harold! It’s time to take the dogs for a walk. Get on with it.”
“Yes dear, of course. They’re waiting in the yard—I just came in to collect the poopy bag.”
“Poopy bag?” the old crone enquired.
As Harold began to explain, “Yes dear, I use it to—” her mouth slackened and her eyes fluttered like butterflies. Her pale face began to rise, causing Harold to brace himself for either a fist to the nose or a harsh slap.
Instead, she merely said, “Why just the one bag? Those two giant hounds out there will produce a stack of hot steamy canine goo that would make a cow proud!”
Relieved at avoiding physical punishment, Harold carefully rendered his reply: “In times of economy, we must be prepared to accept a little discomfort.” Then, with quick inspiration, he added, “And I’ll continue to the river so I may clean the bag out for use again tomorrow!”
“Well bloody get on with it then,” said the old crone as she waddled her bulk 180 degrees and shuffled towards the only room in the house with a fire going.
Harold pulled on his wellies and coat, picked up the dog leads from the floor, and gingerly extracted a few larger coins from the small change tin. As he headed out into the cold wintry day, he smiled to himself, thinking how convenient it was that the pub with the large open fire sat right beside the river.