Why Choose EOTs Over Traditional Buyouts?

I wrote the poem, then I wrote an explainer, then I realised the poem is redundant. Then I realised I don’t care what you think anymore, so the poem stayed.

Old Jerry ran a factory tight—
A little creaky, but mostly right.
He made fine parts for clever things,
Like wind-up ducks and copper springs.

One day he said, “It’s time to go—
I want a boat, perhaps Bordeaux.
I’ve earned my stripes, I’ll sell the shop,
And let the private buyers mop.”

They came in suits, with dazzling grins,
And PowerPoints with hockey pins.
They talked of “synergies” and “scale,”
Then fired poor Lizzie from the mail.

They closed the canteen, sold the van,
Rebadged the soap to “Corpé-San.”
They shrank the team and doubled goals—
Then pocketed the workers’ souls.

But wait! A voice from Dave in tools,
Who once mistook some files for mules:
“Why sell us out to suits and ties,
When we could own the enterprise?”

An EOT, friends, is not a trick—
It’s not just shares, it’s ownership.
It pays the founder just as well,
Without the need for sharks to sell.

It locks in legacy and pride,
And keeps the best folks on your side.
It gives the team a proper stake
In every part they build or make.

There’s tax relief (yes, quite a sum),
And zero cost to staff—not one.
The firm buys shares, the seller’s paid,
And futures aren’t just sold or swayed.

So next time suits begin to swarm,
And whisper “Let us help transform…”
Just stop and think—before you deal—
Remember this:

Time wounds all heels.

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Authors Note:

Having thoroughly investigated the advantages of Employee Ownership Trusts (EOTs) compared to traditional Management Buyouts (MBOs) or direct corporate acquisitions, I can see no compelling reason why any business with 50 or more employees should consider a different route. The benefits to the owner, the employees, and the long-term integrity of the business are both significant and fair.

Please note, I do not sell services from these pages, nor do I host advertising. I am genuinely impressed by the potential of EOTs to deliver fairer outcomes for all parties involved. If you are a business owner who has come across this note and would like to learn more, feel free to contact me directly at slurps.mammal-3t@icloud.com (I know, but it’s what Apple gave me as a ‘spam reducing’ discardable email redirect).

PS. Groucho fans will understand the last line of the poem. Thank you, Groucho Marx—for the laughter that disarmed, the wit that endured, and the humility that defended. You made us laugh, and in doing so, you helped keep us standing.

What is an EOT?

Employee Ownership Trusts (EOTs) are a UK government-recognised succession option allowing a company to be sold to its own employees. Rather than a management buyout (MBO) or trade sale, an EOT gives control of the business to the workforce—preserving culture, protecting jobs, and delivering fair value to the owner.

An EOT:

• Pays the owner full market value for their shares.
• Requires no upfront investment from employees.
• Offers generous tax relief to the seller (up to 100% CGT exemption).
• Encourages long-term stability, growth, and alignment.
• Avoids external interference or asset-stripping buyers.
• In the UK-we have specialist companies that help business owners transition to employee ownership through:
  • Capital investment in employee-led buyouts
  • Legal and structural support for establishing an EOT
  • Ongoing governance to protect the interests of employees and sellers
  • Tools for engagement, transparency, and shared success