Keir Starmer: Promises vs Reality After 100 Days

Oh, Keir Starmer’s hit his hundred days,
And honestly, it’s been a bit of a maze.
Promised us “change”—now, where’s that at?
All we’ve got is a Tory copycat!

“Free Gear Keir” said he’d lead us right,
But all we’ve got is one hell of a fright.
Cutting fuel for our dear old nans,
While tossing millions to foreign lands!

He’ll “smash the gangs,” he did declare,
But now the boats? They’re everywhere!
Thousands arriving, no vetting at all—
It’s like an open-door policy at a shopping mall.

He’s making mates with ol’ Xi Jinping,
But with the Yanks? They’re on the wing.
The Falklands? Well, they’re on loan—
And Gibraltar? Spain’s on the phone!

Oh, and the schools! Don’t get me started—
Private fees? He’s broken-hearted.
Middle-class kids can kiss that dream,
As Keir sails down the socialist stream.

So, cheers to Keir on his hundred days,
But if this keeps up, we’ll all part ways.
Sleaze, cuts, and a big migration boom—
Who’s up for moving to the moon?

But don’t worry, mate, there’s always hope—
Maybe he’ll smash it… Or just the envelope!